


Dirty Deeds

by ifinkufreaky



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Play, Dirty Talk, F/M, Power Play, Sex Toys, Songfic, Spanking, bad morals good fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-02-11 18:33:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12941226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifinkufreaky/pseuds/ifinkufreaky
Summary: Imagine you call the number in AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds" song, and the murderbros answer the phone...The reader hires Harald and Halfdan to beat up her stalker ex-boyfriend so he will finally stop harassing her. Then the boys stick around for a smutty afterparty. A girl has needs, after all...





	1. we'll have ourselves a ball

**Author's Note:**

> Pick up the phone  
> I'm always home  
> Call me any time  
> Just ring  
> 36 24 36 hey  
> I lead a life of crime

**\-- "Dirty Deeds – Done Dirt Cheap" --**

And a phone number. That’s all the little business card says. After you had finally convinced the bouncer to throw your stalker ex-boyfriend out on his ass last night, a girl sitting next to you at the bar had started commiserating. You told her you were considering filing a restraining order, and she just shook her head and gave you this little card instead. Said these guys could take care of your problem much quicker than the cops.

You stare at the number after you punch it into the screen of your phone, debating whether to press the call button. Your ex had seriously scared you, and the girl was right: a restraining order would not stop him from breaking into your house, or any of the other crazy things he threatened to do if you didn’t take him back…

 

The voice on the other end of the line is gravelly and low. “Yes?”

“Is this the number I call to get a lesson taught to an asshole that won’t take no for an answer?”

All you hear is rich, throaty laughter on the other end.

 

When you open the door to your house, you start to have a few second thoughts. The two rough-looking men standing on your threshold remind you of hungry wolves. Two white guys sporting full-face tattoos and wild, punk-rock hairstyles, posting up in worn leather jackets and scuffed work boots. You usher them in quickly before the neighbors get a chance to wonder what’s going on.

The shorter one with the undercut and long, glossy braid stands before you and extends his hand. “I am Harald, and this is my brother Halfdan.”

The one with half his dirty blonde hair shaved off is already ranging through your house, checking windows and poking through your stuff. You clear your throat and he whips his head back to face you, only one wild eye visible behind his curtain of hair. “Hi,” he says, then sticks his head through the door to your spare bedroom. “Is the back door the only other exit?”

“Yeah,” you say, wrapping your arms around yourself tightly. Your house is pretty small but it’s all that you need. The front room is a cozy place for TV and entertaining, spare room to one side for an office, bathroom and your bedroom off the hallway that leads to the kitchen at the back. These two men, who look like they’ve never worked an honest day in their lives, make an assessment of the place in a matter of minutes.

“I think we can do it here,” Halfdan concludes.

“How nosy are your neighbors?” Harald asks, pulling aside the edge of the curtain on your front window.

“They gossip, but they’re not the type to talk to cops,” you answer. “And they wouldn’t bother themselves to come help me if I was screaming bloody murder.”

“Perfect,” Halfdan says dryly, the sardonic grin on his face infecting your cheeks just a little. Now that you’ve had a chance to get used to the blue lines swirling over their faces, you have to admit these guys are good looking. You feel your chest inflate with excitement not only over what you are about to do, but also with that sweet rush that comes when the guys doing work for you happen to be really hot. To your surprise, Halfdan grasps your elbow softly, turning you to face him. He’s close enough that you have to tip your chin up a little to look him in the eye. “So are we here to scare this guy, or end him?”

You shiver just a little at the question. Halfdan said it so evenly, like both options are just in a day’s work for him. They probably are. Out of the corner of your eye you see Harald leave the window and step closer, too. You find you have to clear your throat before you can speak. “Just beat the shit out of him. He’s the kind of asshole that’ll harass a woman all day, but he can’t fight. If he knows I’ve got big guys like you around…” you trail off, eyefucking the breadth of Halfdan’s shoulders, the way his undershirt clings his pecs beneath his dirty jacket. Your eyes flit over to Harald. The shorter man stands with a presence that makes it seem like the whole earth rotates around him. ‘Intimidating’ doesn’t even begin to sum these guys up.

Halfdan leans in closer, cocking the side of his head toward you. “So, killer, you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?” he asks with twisted, tempting lips.

It hurts you as a feminist, but he’s got a point. “He would be more likely to give up if he thought that.”

Halfdan grins and rubs his large hand affectionately across your shoulders. “Done.” Even through the thin fabric of your sundress his palm feels warm.

“Or I could be the boyfriend,” Harald pouts.

Halfdan wraps his fingers around your opposite shoulder and tugs you just a little bit closer. “You got to be the boyfriend last time.”

“You guys do this routine often?” you ask.

“It can be very useful,” Halfdan grins.

You look back at Harald. You’re flattered by the trace of disappointment you see in his eyes as he looks at Halfdan’s hand on your body.

 “How much is this going to cost?” you ask, changing the subject before things get awkward.

Harald purses his lips and shakes his head. “We’ll talk about it after.” His eyes flick around the room. “Nothing you can’t afford.”

You blow out a little sigh of frustration, not sure if you should be insulted by that comment. Halfdan gives your back a few quick pats before he steps away. “Call him up. Tell him you want him to come over to have a talk.”

 

It’s finished faster than you imagined, and yet every detail is etched with adrenaline spikes upon your memory. When your ex knocked it was Halfdan who opened the door, eyes steely as the coward you can’t believe you used to share your bed with started backing away slowly. “Come on in, she wants to talk to you.”

“What is this, babe?”

“I need you to understand that it’s over,” you say. “I told you that months ago and you were too stupid to listen.”

He’s distracted by the large men in the room. “You seeing someone else?” His eyes flit from Harald leaning with his arms crossed against the wall next to the door, to Halfdan who had come to stand behind your shoulder. “This guy?” He tries to say it with scorn but you can hear the fear already building underneath. “Both of them?”

“What if I was?” The rising rage in your belly feels good. “It’s not your business anymore. Give it up, you fucking prick. Stop stalking me. We’re never getting back together.”

Your ex’s smile is truly ugly as he looks significantly back at the two men, then you. “If you need to have a little _slut phase,_ I get that. I’ll still take you back after. We’ll find a way for you to make it up to me.”

His stubborn refusal to face reality makes you absolutely livid. You can’t even find the words for this creep. “ _Fuckwad,”_ you practically screech at him. Halfdan’s hand strokes lightly across your lower back, reminding you he’s there, and they’re ready.

Your ex’s face twists up, small and mean. “Whore.”

You give a little nod and that’s all the excuse Halfdan needs. He lunges up from behind you and you step to the side, satisfied to see your idiot ex-boyfriend’s eyes go wide as this barbaric man comes at him, fist raised high. He cringes fast enough that the blow lands on his shoulder, but his body spins right into Harald’s waiting arms.

It’s not even really a fight as they pummel him. “You shoulda just listened to me,” you crow over Halfdan’s shoulder. “Now my _friends_ have to beat it into your thick skull.” Once they get him on the ground you make sure to come over and get a few good kicks in yourself. “Are you getting the fucking message yet?”

You all could have killed him right there. His face was turning into a bloody mess, and he wasn’t even trying to fight back anymore. But Harald remembered what you said your wishes were, before everyone’s blood started running so hot. He put a hand on Halfdan’s shoulder and they both let up their blows long enough for your sorry ex to scramble off the ground and start scurrying toward the door.

You chase him far enough to land one final, entirely satisfying kick. “I better not fucking see you anywhere near me again,” you scream as he opens the door.

“Hell no. I’m done with you, _psycho_ ,” he whips back as he stumbles down to his car. You’re satisfied to hear how the words come out garbled now, and you hope he lost a few teeth as he spits blood into your driveway before taking off.

You stand in the doorway another minute, staring as his car disappears. You’re still catching your breath when you turn and finally shut the door. What a fucking rush. Halfdan is gone; you hear the bathroom sink turn on a moment later as Harald examines his own bloody knuckles. “Well that was easy,” he says with a smile. Then his eyes narrow as he looks at you more carefully. “You okay?”

You lean on the doorframe and think about the answer to his question. How do you feel right now? Exhilarated, charged up, still a little pissed.

And very turned on.

Every little movement of Harald’s is still crackling with violence as he steps closer to you. He had ditched his coat before the fight and now you can see the bulge of his biceps peeking out from the sleeves of his white undershirt. You have the sudden urge to reach out and touch them. “I’m good,” you assure him, and his answering smile is thick with the same darkness you’re feeling. He lets his body brush yours as he steps past you to take a look out the window.

Halfdan all but prowls as he comes back up the hallway from the bathroom, drying his hands with your nice towel. The one that’s supposed to be just for decoration. “Do you want us to stay? He might come back.”

You give him a skeptical look. You thought this was the fix. How long would you need to be pretending to be dating before that fucker leaves you alone? Though you realize you are not at all opposed to the idea of keeping company with these guys a bit longer. “You think he will?”

“No, not after that,” Halfdan replies honestly. He tosses your towel on the edge of the couch and stalks closer, holding your eyes. “But maybe there’s something else you need from us, killer?” You’ve always had a thing for the bad boys, and Halfdan is looking like a wet dream in front of you.

“Yeah, actually, there is.” You glance over at Harald, who has turned away from the window and is smoothing out a few strands of hair that escaped his braid in the scuffle. Just the thought of what you’re about to ask for is making your nipples stick out through your thin sundress. “I’ve only had two orgasms in a whole year with that fucker. Can you believe it?”

Halfdan grins and steps really close to you, body still bristling from the adrenaline of the fight. You do your best not to shiver in excitement. “So now you wanna get fucked.”

Your cunt just about screams at you to submit to him right there, but you square your shoulders instead, pushing yourself right into his face. “I want to _come._ Don’t waste my time unless you think you can deliver on that.”

You hear Harald chuckle softly over your shoulder. Without moving away from Halfdan, who’s so close that you’ll touch his chest if you even breathe heavily at this point, you turn your head to catch Harald’s eye. “You think you can do better than him?” You look him up and down, obviously. “I want to make sure I hire the best man for the job.”

Halfdan’s fingers tracing along your waist bring your attention back to him. “I can treat you real good, baby,” he’s murmuring, looking down the neck of your dress unabashedly. When his eyes flit up to your face, he makes a lewd motion with his tongue and then smiles.

You smile and look back at Harald, because if you keep staring at Halfdan you’re going to lose your cool and just push him up against the wall. “Your brother’s got a face I’d like to sit on, too,” you tease.

Harald’s entire face creases with mirth, and he steps closer as he shrugs. “You’ll just have to give each of us a try,” his low voice rumbles.

Oh. Good idea. “There really is no way I’m going to be able to tell who to pick, without some kind of try-out,” you agree. Halfdan’s starting his audition already, mouthing his way along the side of your neck while you stare at Harald. Clutching your hips against his hard enough that you can feel he’s already getting ready for you. And that his size is likely to match his ego. Honestly you’d be good with both of them just ravaging you right there, but you’re going to try and be a little bit more civilized than that. “Why don’t you both go sit on the couch.”

You climb onto Harald’s lap first, since you already have an idea what touching Halfdan feels like. It should feel submissive, to spread your legs around him and get into the lapdance position in your short little sundress over this man you only met today, but it doesn’t. You see the look in his eye as he gazes up at your body and you feel powerful. You run your hands over his broad chest and pinch at his biceps just as you wanted to earlier. He smirks and flexes for you; it’s a dumb move but it gives you the surge of attraction you were looking for anyway. Then he reaches up both hands to cup your face and draw you down slowly for a kiss.

His surprising gentleness throws you off; you were expecting something more brutish from a professional thug like him. But he nips at your lips softly, coaxing you to open to him rather than trying to claim anything immediately. His fingers scratch softly into the back of your scalp as his tongue slides across yours and you have to admit that Harald is a very good kisser.

One hand slides down the front of your chest and he gives your breasts the same kind of tender treatment; touching not to feel but to make you feel something. By the time he’s got your beaded nipple rolling between his fingers you are all but panting into his mouth.

“Okay, my turn,” Halfdan interrupts when he sees you two have started dry humping right there on the couch.

It’s a little bit hard to tear yourself away, but when you look at the wild beauty of the blonde beside you, you find that you are indeed ready for the next course. With a deep breath and shaky legs, you get off of Harald and climb over to straddle Halfdan.

You gaze into his eyes as you settle over him; he smirks and slaps your ass right off the bat. He doesn’t miss the way it fills your face with heat even though your next reaction is to slap him across the cheek. “The fuck was that for?” you ask, unwilling to show him any weakness.

“Just checking to see if you’re ready to be treated like the naughty girl you are,” he replies cheekily, watching your face carefully all the while to see if this kind of role-play is something you’re into.

“So Harald is nice, and you’re the nasty one?” you quip, not willing to give him an answer just yet. With this guy you’re not sure if you want to be the top or the bottom. Both sound very exciting.

Halfdan responds with a crazy smile, one you’re sure he uses to intimidate many of the people he gets hired to hurt. “The nastiest.” He runs his curled fingers in something just short of a scratch all the way up the back of your leg, sliding inside your panties before you have a chance to react. You’re already soaking wet from Harald’s treatment, and he seems intent to pick up exactly where his brother left off. His fingertips slide once, twice along your needy slit before two of them plunge directly inside.

You close your breath and let out a lusty breath at the intensity of the sensation. His fingers curl expertly against your g-spot, slow yet assertive. “I’ve got what you need, killer,” he assures you.

“Fuck.” The word hisses out between your teeth. You can’t even open your eyes, though you lean back while Halfdan continues to pump away inside you. “How am I supposed to choose?”

“Why don’t you have both of us?” suggests Harald’s gravelly voice. You open your eyes to look over at him. He’s serious. “We don’t mind if you don’t.”

Halfdan calls your attention back to him. "All you have to decide is who you're taking back to your room first."


	2. Halfdan

Harald puts some porn on the TV up front while Halfdan all but carries you back to the bedroom. A soft chorus of moans from the speakers provide a soundtrack as he throws you onto the bed without shutting the door behind him. “Alright you little cocktease,” he says, standing at the foot of his bed and fucking with his belt, “time to get what’s coming to you.” He says it with a smile, head tilted playfully to the side, but the heat in his eyes is very real.

Your heart races, but you’re not submitting that easily. You smirk and pose for him on the bed, sticking your chest out and tilting your hips. “You better mean that filthy tongue of yours.”

His eyes flash as they roam over your body. He lets his empty belt buckle fall, dropping to cover you on the bed instead of taking off his pants. “Oh, you’re going to get everything tonight, babygirl.” His hand slides up the side of your body, cupping your every curve before grasping your chin in his hand and pulling you in for a hungry kiss.

He’s got you pressed into the bed and moaning before he pulls back to look you over again, eyelids heavy with lust.

“I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on you,” he says in a low, sultry tone, “that you were a girl desperately in need of a good fucking.”

“I am, Halfdan,” you moan, rolling your hips against him. You tear the hem of his shirt up until he lifts his arms and helps you take it off of him. His chest is smooth and planed with dense, springy muscle. You cannot help yourself; you press your greedy lips to it immediately.

He makes a sound almost like a purr when you take his nipple into your mouth and flick your tongue across it. “That’s it, killer.” His positive reaction emboldens you to take his other nipple between your finger and thumb and tweak it until he hisses. When he can take no more he slams you against the mattress, eyes brimming with dark promises. “Two can play at that game.”

He unbuttons your sundress until he can reach your breasts, teasing at one nipple and then the other. One of his knees is lodged firmly between your legs and you find yourself squirming, pressing your needy sex against his thigh while he flicks your nipples expertly. When you moan in pleasure he drops his head to worry at your sensitive flesh with lips and teeth until you clutch the shaved sides of his head with both hands, begging for relief.

“What do you need, babydoll,” he croons into your soft skin.

You arch your back under him with a sultry groan. “I need to sit on that handsome face of yours.”

When Halfdan lifts his head you can see how delighted he is with that proposition. “You got it, naughty girl. Smother me with that cunt. Let me make you scream.”

He grasps you around the waist and then flips the both of you over. You rise up to your knees while he gets himself settled into the pillows on your bed. Your sundress is gaping, tits hanging out as you climb up his body. His eyes are positively lascivious as he watches you bring yourself closer and closer to his mouth.

You tip your weight onto one knee, then the other, to remove your panties; after a split second you tear your dress over your head too, realizing you don’t want anything to block your view of his face between your thighs. Your clit is practically throbbing in its need for Halfdan’s tongue.

He can see your need too. “Come up here and let me take care of you,” he coaxes. You’ve just met this guy today, and now you’re buck naked on top of him, about to make him lick you from clit to asshole. It feels… triumphant. He would have killed for you. Now he’s gonna save you in a whole other way.

His eager exhale hits your flesh first as you settle over his face; his hands come up on your ass to guide you the rest of the way down, his kiss parting your lower lips immediately. You moan as his tongue slides between your folds, exploring boldly as he finds the angles and pressures that make your stomach coil and your heavy breath hitch.

Halfdan’s boasts turn out to be entirely true. You’re not sure you have ever gotten oral this good. He sucks softly at your clit, making pleased little moaning sounds like he’s savoring your taste. You fist your fingers through his dirty blonde hair and press yourself harder against him, moaning low in the back of your throat.

His mouth slides to the side for a moment, strong hands pulling you far enough off his face that he can talk. “Don’t hold back, Y/N,” he urges, eyes twinkling. “I want my brother to be able to hear that I’m winning.”

“Better make me, then,” is your only reply, then you grind yourself back over his eager mouth. He licks you front to back again in playful slurps before he gets back down to business. His tongue flicks steadily against your aching clit, and you reward him by letting ragged moans rip loudly from your throat. “Oh, that’s it baby. Just like that.”

You wonder if Harald has his cock in his hand up in your living room, listening to this. Or is he saving everything for you, just straining against his jeans. The thought makes you pant and “ooh” just a little louder.

Halfdan strokes his broad palms over your thighs, sculpting the swell of your ass. You try to stop your hips from writhing so that you don’t interfere with the rhythm of his glorious tongue. Your skin is tingling; your cunt and nipples are on fire and all you want is more as you ride his face as best you can.

His right hand slides between your legs from behind, and you feel his fingers start to play with your slick and needy opening. An “oh please” escapes your lips and you realize you are not above begging for this man. Blessed, solid penetration follows, stretching you inside and giving just the extra stimulation you wanted. You feel his fingers splaying softly over your asscheeks, up and down, and you realize he’s fucking you with his thumb. You bear down on him and he swirls it, looking for your g-spot without ever breaking his mouth’s assault on your clit.

You’re no longer in control of the noises coming out of your mouth. You feel your orgasm building like a freight train, powerful and unstoppable for this killer between your thighs. Your legs and your core clench; you press yourself against his wicked tongue and groan your release through your teeth. He pulls wave after wave of pleasure from your body, and just as you’re about to relax he flips you onto your back. There’s a predatory fierceness flashing in his eyes as he dips his head back down and continues his assault, not stopping until he’s wrestled a second climax from your shuddering body.

You realize you have been flat-out screaming. Your eyes flick to the door but Halfdan isn’t done with you, shaking his pants off hastily as he climbs up your recumbent body, already glistening with sweat. “Let me fuck you,” he grunts into the crook of your neck, laying his thick cock on the inside of your thigh to tempt you.

You consider your options. These boys agreed to get you off tonight, and he was right, that did not necessarily mean you had consented to sex. You could ride the wave of power, simply thank Halfdan for his services and relax into the lovely aftershocks of your orgasms right there.

But you want that dick.

“Get a condom, and you’re on, cowboy.” You’re surprised by how husky your voice sounds. “There’s one in the drawer.” You start to roll toward the nightstand by your bed but Halfdan is faster, springing up in the direction you pointed. The cheap furniture rasps as he practically tears it open, and after a little bit of rummaging you hear the telltale crinkling noise of the wrapper.

Halfdan comes back to kneel on the bed over you, ripping the packet with his teeth. “You look so fucking hot, kitten,” he says as he stares down at your glistening, panting body. He seems to have an endless supply of pet names, like he can’t decide which one fits you best. “You’d better not be tired yet, I’m about to wreck you.” He rolls the rubber down his impressive length like a promise.

You moan and squirm and shake your head. You may be in a post-orgasm haze, but you’re not tired at all.

“Spread your legs for me,” he orders.

He’s not very careful when he enters you. Your readiness is self-evident and he sheaths himself quickly, self-indulgently. You couldn’t expect a thug like him to be a giver forever. Still, it feels so good to be under him, taken by him, filled to the brink with his lust that’s been all this time just answering yours. “Don’t hold back, I can take it,” you whisper in his ear.

And he doesn’t. And you almost regret saying it, once he’s got your legs up over his shoulders and he’s positively _drilling_ into you. But not really. You relax and let him pound you so close to a third orgasm that you can’t resist bringing your fingers up to your clit and finishing yourself off around him.

“ _Fuck,”_ he groans through clenched teeth, voice ragged as he collapses over you, pressing his forehead to yours and spilling inside you with his straining eyes locked only inches from yours. The intensity in his gaze is almost scary. He looks like he’s mad at how good this feels. He looks like he wants to eat you alive. He looks like he might never let you go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is Harald going to compete with that??
> 
> Just kidding he has his ways.


	3. harald... then halfdan again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harald was going to get his own chapter but... after seeing 5A, part of me doesn't want him to have nice things. Halfdan is OWED. He gets to shine some more in this chapter too. But this is still a fun fantasy and no one is getting jealous or left out, I promise.

“She may not need you anymore, brother,” Halfdan says as Harald comes strolling into the room. You and he are still panting, you with the sheet wrapped around your body while Halfdan lies sprawled out naked across the rest of the bed. “What was that,” he asks, rolling his head to check with you for a second, “three?” He turns back to Harald with a smug grin. “I’ve already given her more than she said she had all year.”

Harald doesn’t even flinch. He posts up against the doorframe, crossed arms showing off those glorious biceps framed by his white undershirt again. “That's ok,” he says smoothly, flashing a toothy grin that reminds you of a wolf giving warning you’re in his territory. “Now I’ll know, when I make her come a few more times, it's not just because she was desperate.”

A fresh tingling starts between your still-trembling thighs. You might not _need it_ anymore, he’s right, but you’re immediately certain you don’t want to skip this man’s turn.

The next thing you realize is there a warm, savory spice wafting through the air. “Are you _cooking?”_ you ask incredulously.

Harald shrugs, barely-concealed pride tugging at the corner of his lip. “I figured we would all be hungry when we were done. I looked through your kitchen, found what I needed to whip something up.”

So much for your imagination that Harald was listening with bated breath and jerking it during your very noisy session with Halfdan. Though the image of this thug ransacking your pantry just to meet another one of your needs almost makes up for it. “You guys are really taking this boyfriend thing seriously,” you quip. Harald shrugs again, eyes twinkling. You don’t miss the way his gaze slides down the outline of your body under the thin sheet.

Halfdan rolls onto his side, spooning your hip and bringing his face close to yours. Your eyes focus on his scabbed knuckles as one hand comes up to brush a strand of sweaty hair off your brow. “You sure you want to keep going?” he asks softly, and you realize he has specifically blocked his brother’s view of your face with his own head. Giving you a chance to be honest. “It’s alright if you’re done.”

You smile up at him sweetly. “You were wonderful. Possibly the best I’ve ever had,” you answer truthfully. “But…” your eyes flit to what you can see of Harald. “I’m just too curious. I still want both of you.”

Halfdan’s face twists into that half-crazed smile that seems to come so naturally to him. He doesn’t seem offended at all. “You deserve to have the night of your life,” he answers, and kisses you on the cheek. He murmurs a soft “and thank you” before climbing off the bed. You hold the sheet to your chest and sit up to watch him walk his buck naked ass right past his brother and out into the hallway. “All yours,” he says to him cheerfully. “I’m going to hit the shower.”

“Stir the sauce when you get out?” Harald requests. These boys are certainly making themselves very comfortable in your house.

“Fresh towels in the hall closet,” you call after Halfdan. Then your eyes fall back on Harald. He hasn’t moved; one powerful shoulder dented by the corner of the doorjamb, planting all his weight on one bare foot while the other crosses his ankle casually. His chestnut hair is out of the braid and spilling down over his chest.

He’s looking you up and down too, eyes glittering in the winding blue frame of his face tat. “Alone at last.” He senses the awkwardness in your silence and flashes another smile to cut the tension. “We don’t have to start right away, if you need a break,” he offers. He steps into the room with what he probably thinks is a casual air.

You’re not sure what you want to do next. You pull the sheet a little snugger as you check in with your body, warm and wet, a little raw, but not entirely spent. You want to play with him but you’re feeling a little sluggish, not sure how to start.

“Can I see your toys?” he asks, raising one brow suggestively.

There’s just something about a man that’s not afraid to use a little technological assistance. “That sounds like a very good idea,” you agree, and scoot over to pull open the appropriate drawer in the nightstand.

You’ve got quite the collection of vibrators and other things that you’ve picked up here and there. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, especially with the caliber of men you’ve been dating lately. But you haven’t organized this drawer in a while, and you’re not even sure you fully remember what-all is in there. You do your best not to feel self-conscious as Harald silently peruses.

His thick fingers pluck some hot pink thing from the pile. You don’t immediately recognize it. He turns the object over in his hand as he holds it up to you; a butt plug with a sparkly plastic jewel on the end of it. “Do you like this one?” he asks in his low, gravelly voice.

You suck in a breath as you think about it. “I’ve only used it once,” you confess. “It felt great once it was in, but it was hell getting it in there. I’ve been a little bit nervous to try again.” Your whole body is starting to feel hot and prickly, looking at that pretty little thing in his powerful hand.

Harald just smiles. “Let me take care of that part,” he offers. “I know a few tricks.”

Your vigorous nod is a mixture of eager and anxious. The excitement is fun but Harald picks up on your tension. He sets the toy on the table and sits down next to you instead, hands moving slowly to draw your face into his for a soothing, deep kiss. The unhurried, sensitive way that he coaxes your mouth to relax and let him in feels like a preview of what he’s promising he can do with other parts of your body.

Then he’s pulling back, holding your face softly between both his hands as his crystal blue eyes assess you warmly. He doesn’t say anything, but everything about the way he moves is telling you to trust him. Your body is starting to thrum with eagerness for what he’s promising. He reaches back into the drawer, plucking up two of your vibrators, a bottle of lube, and a condom. He sets them all on the nightstand and pushes the drawer closed with his shin.

“Lie down,” he says. “On your stomach. Let me help you relax.”

You scoot down and flatten yourself onto the mattress, face turned toward him with sleepy eyes as you settle in. His hand is warm on your shoulder, and his loose hair brushes your back as he leans down to press a few kisses behind your ear. “Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asks softly. The sheet still covers everything up to your lower back, and Harald’s hands start to travel over your exposed skin, caresses turning firmer as he begins to massage you.

His hands are so strong. His touch is not the kind of coaxing slide of a guy hoping to get you in the mood for sex; even though that’s the actual purpose here, Harald is acting like it isn’t for now, and actually giving you a damn good massage. His sliding grip begins soothing aches you hadn’t even realized you had.

You twist just enough to catch his eye. “Maybe I picked the wrong boyfriend after all,” you joke, then let out an appreciative groan as his thumb finds a knot in your lower back.

Harald bends his face close to yours again, lips tilted in an enigmatic little smile. “Maybe that’s what I’m trying to show you,” he says in a soft, playful growl, and then you’re twisting up far enough to kiss him again, suddenly desperate for another taste of his lips.

The rhythm of his tongue in your mouth and his hands on your skin is hypnotic. You find yourself wiggling your ass in time to that cadence, hoping that his hand will stray lower soon. When he pulls back from the kiss, his eyes are glazed over with lust and you know he won’t be making you wait much longer.

With one hand still stroking your back, he uses the other to draw the sheet the rest of the way off your body. He makes an eager little noise in the back of his throat at the sight of your wiggling ass and slightly parted legs. “So beautiful,” he croons, then bends to take a soft bite out of one asscheek.

You twist a little, involuntarily, and that gentle hand on your back is suddenly holding you down, steadying you. His warm palm is already soothing away the sensation of the bite. “Apologies,” he murmurs into your skin, “it was just too tempting.” He makes another soothing noise. “I won’t do anything so surprising again. Just relax, and enjoy yourself.” That warm hand is moving over both your cheeks now, setting everything tingling. He centers himself so that he can stroke both your thighs, pressure still firm enough for a satisfying massage but you want so much more than just to relax now.

You spread your legs a little wider, a needy noise escaping your throat. His powerful hands are sliding up your inner thighs immediately, your signal clearly received. He pinches at the fleshy part of your ass, spreading you wider to his view. He nudges your leg with his knee to make more room for him in between, and then his fingertips are stroking along the edges of your sex.

You’re about ready to beg by the time Harald coats a few of his fingers in saliva and starts to really explore. He is so much more deliberate than Halfdan, taking his time with every movement and making a study of the twitches and sounds he elicits as he wakes up your clit, then slides between your inner lips. You rock yourself back over his fingers, urging him deeper.

It’s not long before you feel Harald’s thumb circling your back door. “Do you still want…?” he asks, adding just a little pressure rocking against your tight hole to punctuate the question.

“Yes,” you sigh. The sense of adventure in these competent hands is absolutely thrilling.

He reaches over you, and after a moment his fingertips bring some of the cool silicone lube to your rear entrance with graceful, unhurried circles that work the slippery fluid into the puckered flesh with an absolutely delicious sensation. Unlike other lovers in your past, Harald is going slow enough to make sure that you have time to relax for him here. You remind yourself to breathe as he works at the unfamiliar area, his tender yet deliberate fingers bringing you the dirtiest sort of pleasure until you can feel your body already starting to let him in.

Harald slows and then you hear the sound of the first vibrator clicking on. You can’t help but groan and let every one of your muscles go slack when Harald sets the tool against your asshole. It’s not something you normally do to yourself, not something any man has ever thought to do for you, and the deep pulsing between your cheeks feels incredibly wrong and incredibly right at the same time.

He presses in slowly, swirling the slim vibrator as he goes. The deep response from your body surprises you, arousal ratcheting higher and higher as he begins to speak in punctuation to his rocking pressure. “Such a good girl.” His low, gravelly voice slides through your ears and compliments the rumbling of the toy he’s pushing into you. “You are doing so well, doll. Just keep relaxing. You’re letting me in beautifully.”

You can tell he likes doing this sort of thing. He didn’t ask about the toys just for your benefit. The realization that he’s getting off on penetrating you like this sends wave after wave of heat through your body, and you wonder if you’re about to come just from the vibration in your ass and the ragged near-whisper of his praise.

“I think you’re ready now,” he prounounces, and slowly eases the vibrator out of you. Only then do you realize how far you had let him in. Filling you with the plug was probably going to be as easy as he promised.

But even lubed-up, the hard silicone of the buttplug doesn’t feel quite as easy to take without that sweet, distracting vibration. You flinch in warning and Harald’s voice is immediately warm and soothing. He slows down and grabs the second vibe. This one he sets against your clit, giving you new fireworks to focus on.

You feel his slow and steady pressure against your anus, but now you have an added stimulation you’re more used to. Your body responds eagerly to the vibration on your clit, pre-orgasmic waves coursing through your entire pelvic floor as Harald keeps pushing on.

 “I’m—I’m about to come” you stutter, and he presses the vibrator more firmly against your clit, making you groan through your teeth. Just as you’re teetering on the edge of release he forces the plug the rest of the way in, the intensity of that thrust sending you off into a spiraling orgasm. You feel the rhythmic clenching of your muscles all around the foreign object, rocketing your ecstasy to higher peaks than your idiot ex had ever achieved. You have the fleeting thought that you’re so very happy you never threw that thing away.

When you finally sag into the bed, panting, you hear Harald tearing the wrapper of his condom. “Don’t get too comfortable, Y/N,” he chuckles, big hands spreading your thighs a little wider as he climbs up between them. “You don’t want to miss how that thing feels while you’re getting fucked.” He slides one palm over your dripping sex, jostling the plug, drawing another moan from you as the movement makes your aftershocks tingle through all your limbs. “If you’re ready,” he adds, dropping the act with just enough courtesy to ascertain your consent.

You babble your agreement and Harald is lining himself up almost immediately, pressing eagerly against your more-neglected opening. He feels so wide going in, but as he starts to move you realize you’re feeling unbelievably full because of the way his cock is pushing against the plug through your inner walls. You moan and rub your hips back against his, crying out when the motion makes the plug wiggle even more inside you.

He doesn’t last as long as you hope. That heavenly fullness must be squeezing hard against him too, making him blow his load with a swallowed groan before you were done savoring the experience. But when Harald rolls off you, Halfdan is there again, one arm up against the doorframe with his forehead leaning against it like he can’t even balance on his own feet at the sight of your upturned ass with that jewel in the middle.

Harald chuckles low when he notices, reclining next to you on the bed. “Is that not a gorgeous sight, brother?”

“Too fucking hot,” Halfdan agrees, voice tight.

You see him palming himself through his blue jeans and you get up on your knees and elbows, arching your back and presenting yourself at him like an animal. “Wanna go again?”

Instantly Halfdan is stripping, fringe of wet hair flipping over one eye as he closes the distance between your bodies. His palm slides over your hips, then the soft flesh at the backs of your thighs almost reverently as he struggles with his pants with the other hand. He wiggles the jewel above your anus, making you curse softly at the renewed sensation of the plug buried in you.

Harald hands him another condom and makes no move to leave the bed. He reclines beside you and reaches up to stroke a sweaty lock of hair off your forehead. “You are an amazing woman,” he croons, and holds your eyes as his brother’s cock slides home deep into you.

Under any other circumstances, you might make crack some humble joke about being a pretty normal woman getting fucked by two absolutely outrageous guys, but with Halfdan currently filling you to the hilt all you can manage is to nod and smile enigmatically. Halfdan makes a high sound, almost shivering in pleasure. “Can we keep her?” He draws himself out with another delighted sound, then slams back in with a lusty noise. “Let’s keep her.”

You find yourself unable to comment on the proposition as Halfdan pistons into you over and over again. One hand splays over your asscheek, keeping a steady grip so that he can use his thumb to rock the plug in your ass in counter-tempo to his movements. It’s almost too much, but Harald is there, steady palm sliding over your grimacing cheek, grounding you as you take doubled pounding. You almost bark a laugh as you realize Halfdan is dragging another orgasm up out of your guts. Harald presses his thumb into your mouth and you suck on it to stop yourself from screaming.

Your whole body locks up this time. You wonder briefly if a person could pass out from coming too much. Halfdan’s earnest cock and the inexorable pressure of that thick plug make you feel like your body is nothing but cunt and ass and ragged lungs desperate for breath. He’s not stopping. Halfdan’s already come once and he’s not giving it up now before he wants to.

You flip your head over your shoulder as soon as you have voluntary control over your muscles again, fixing the man with your pleading and grateful eyes. His gaze locks and softens in response to yours, and it’s only a few more strokes before he lets you watch him crumble, spasming his release into your warm cunt.

Then you all collapse into the bed, and it’s a long time before anyone moves.

 

Harald is making pancakes in the morning. Their hotline rang in the middle of the night, and they’re headed straight to another job after a cozy breakfast with you, and more visits to your shower. Your kitchen is a mess and there are used towels everywhere, but you’re strangely content. They won’t take any payment.

You catch Halfdan’s hand before they head out the door. “Will I see you again?” you have to ask.

The wild-eyed blonde smiles, peering out at you from behind his hair. “Just pick up the phone. We’re always home.”


End file.
